The only reason why i will feel that way is becos of yesterday's race...
i did not do my 100percent during the competition , i was so afraid i'd would lose, i didnt want to compete. Inthe end , i slowed down in the middle of the race and got the last position . dumb right?

I felt like a dead person ever since the race ended until just now. i couldn't forgive myself and i'm afraid that the same thing would happen again . I cannot go to xf and je**** becos i dont think they can help me and i'm afraid they will become affected .

I went to bedok res to meet RN , i treat her like my elder sis that's why i went to her.My parents didnt know cos they werent in singapore and my own siblings cant help me and i dont know why i didnt go to coach . She really cheered me up(i was really happy after talking to her) to be mentally stronger and learn to prepare myself before my race.

Now , i'm back to my normal self again. I got to stand up and show others what i am made up of . Who i really am and where i stand !